Autumn at Haycombe Crematorium

Haycombe Crematorium looking fab in the autumn sunlight...always a relief to see sunshine when I am there to officiate at a burial!

Andrew is an independent funeral celebrant available in Bristol, Bath & beyond.

Coffee Pending in Bristol & Bath

Hands up if you have heard of 'coffee pending'... despite the many hours I spend in coffee shops, this initiative was news to me, so I'm spreading the word about a brilliant, yet simple scheme to help the homeless in the Bristol & Bath area. Next time you purchase a coffee in Bristol (I'm hoping that places exist in Bath too), pay for a second one and leave it 'pending' so someone who truly needs a hot drink at this time of year can claim it. 

Have you any experience of this? And do you know which cafes in Bristol and Bath offer it - do please share your experience.

Not every coffee shop offers this, but it is certainly worth posing the question and perhaps encouraging coffee shops in areas where there are homeless to introduce it. Look for the #KBW (Keeping Bristol Warm) on twitter or refer to www.365bristol.com (the post on 5/12/16). It is a great idea. It is sometimes difficult to know how best to help homeless people and this feels a very sensible, simple action to take. Please let me know if you find a coffee shop in Bristol and Bath area and I will list the names below. In the meantime, some Bristol outlets are listed on the 365 website. (*Photo is a stock shot & not one of mine).

Today I have been mostly listening to the Rolling Stones; our ceremony tomorrow includes "Gimme Shelter" - brilliant!

Bath Charity Spotlight: The WoodWorks Project

The point of this post is that often there is a collection at the end of a funeral service for a good cause, often one that has some relevance to the family or specifically to the person who has died. But sometimes, knowing which organisation to nominate can be a challenge. So I would just like to take this opportunity to highlight the work of a project in Bath - The WoodWorks Project. I can offer no better explanation for their work than the words found on the intro page of their website...

The Semi-Colon Project;

Much has happened since I was last able to blog… a landmark birthday, navigated successfully albeit with rather more champagne than was strictly necessary...but better to celebrate than ponder the rapidly passing years!

I’ve moved house – challenging and stressful for someone change adverse but the start of a new chapter nonetheless and that’s to be embraced. One consequence has been the lack of broadband for three weeks, which has been difficult – it is though reassuring to see all the lights flashing comfortingly on my hub once again…

Whilst I have been away from the blog, my attention was grabbed by the "Semicolon Project". In essence, the project is a statement indicating that life has been embraced over death.

In essence, people all over the world who have struggled with addiction, suicidal thoughts, and depression are tattooing themselves with semicolons as part of the project.

The Committal: The Final Goodbye

I never thought that soft furnishings could become so controversial, but there is quite a debate about whether the curtains should close or be left open at the committal stage of a cremation ceremony. Now, if you haven’t attended a ceremony for someone close to you, it might be that you are sat there thinking, “Really? Closing the curtains is controversial?” But, for many, it is the part of the ceremony that they dread most, the final act of separation – it is a simple, symbolic action with huge emotional impact.

Obituary: Hard Truths, Honest Lives

Life is complicated and not everything works out the way we would wish. So when, as a celebrant, I am asked to produce a life story for a person who had a challenging personality or was perhaps difficult to live with, I know it will be an interesting journey as we decide what can be said, should be said and what is best glossed over - honesty and integrity should be at the core of every ceremony, provided that it stays on the right side of positive.

Arnos Vale Cemetery

Today, I felt very fortunate to be asked to lead a ceremony at Arnos Vale Cemetery. For those of you who don't know this amazing, historic cemetery / nature reserve (as it almost is now), all I can say is that it is well worth a visit. It is a huge site, containing many noteworthy memorials and headstones. But the first impression is not of headstones but of a green oasis on the outskirts of Bristol. Burials are still possible at Arnos Vale, but these are few and far between and I never expected that I would have an opportunity to lead a ceremony there. It is a stunning space. Today, we were deep in the woods (much of the site is overgrown; some spaces being reclaimed, some parts left natural), with sunshine streaming through the bare branches of the trees (sunshine - we had forecasts of snow and / or 70 mph winds - this morning it was a perfect January morning). The birds were singing, the squirrels exploring. It felt a very natural burial, perfect in its simplicity. If you are thinking of visiting, take wellies / outdoor shoes and leave yourself time to visit the lovely coffee shop there.

A Difficult Day in the Office

It has been a difficult day today. As a celebrant, I often feel as though I'm making a real and positive difference - the funeral ceremony is one small step on the healing process and a heartfelt, personal ceremony can start to ease the sadness. 

Of course it doesn't make everything right, but saying goodbye in the right way does help. Today, it was such a sad ceremony, that I'm not sure I can honestly claim to have helped. We said goodbye to someone who was just 48 years old and there are times when it feels fundamentally wrong to say goodbye so soon. So many tears in the ceremony room today. My thoughts are very much with the family tonight.
Andrew Jackson is a funeral celebrant working in Bristol, Bath and the surrounding area. Please get in touch if you have any funeral related questions.

More to Death: The Natural Death Centre's Magazine

The latest edition of "More to Death" is available - click on the link to have a read. Thought provoking as always - the article about home funerals is especially interesting.

A Time To Remember

It is so important to 'stop the world' every now again and dedicate some time to remembering those people no longer with us. Yesterday, I was privileged to have just such an opportunity when I was invited to speak at the Annual Service of Remembrance, in Bath, hosted by Co-operative Funeral Care. It brought together different faiths as well as myself representing those families who opted for a celebrant led service and together we lit candles and remembered. I've attached my reading below; I hope it resonates with you...

Music For Funerals

(This blog contains some great music choices for a funeral, but you do need to read through to the end...)

The choice of music plays an incredibly important role in the funeral. "Sad songs say so much" (I think that is an Elton John line) and in the midst of our grief, it can be difficult to articulate the complex emotions we are experiencing. Sometimes the words of a song can give voice to feelings otherwise impossible to express and as such, is one step of the healing process.

"Desiderata" - Words Worth Remembering

I have a funeral ceremony in Bath next week and the family have chosen the following reading. It has been a while since I've read them so I welcomed the reminder - the words resonated with me, especially in the context of my previous post...

Poem: Desiderata – Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
 As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.


Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant as they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.


If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
 for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.


The Perfect Funeral: Does It Exist?

I started to write a blog called "Barriers to the Perfect Funeral" - but defining a perfect funeral posed a problem even before I started to reflect on the barriers. 

My ceremony (whenever the times comes - I always say that death is on my 'To Do' list, but I haven't got round to it yet) will look very different to most ceremonies and yes, I have started planning it. I've met too many families whose lives have been turned upside down in the blink of eye - death often appears without warning and I would rather leave detailed instructions and help those close to me sort things out with the minimum of stress - its the least I can do. Like leaving a tidy sock draw... 

Saying Goodbye to John

After the big ceremonies of recent days, yesterday's was a much smaller, more intimate farewell at Haycombe in Bath. I can't share too much of this ceremony, except to reflect on important it was to say an appropriate goodbye. John's grand daughter proved what a special person she is by making sure a heartfelt and genuine goodbye was possible. Sometimes people ask if it isn't depressing, working in the funeral industry. It can be but it also be quite amazing and uplifting.

Yesterday I mostly worried for my house. Major build works, lots of dust, lots of noise. 

Saying Goodbye to Alison

Absolutely beautiful ceremony today. As a celebrant, I'm often left quite awestruck when, from intense grief, amazing things happen...today was such an occasion. We were in the Top Chapel at Haycombe (Bath's cemetery) for Alison's funeral.

A Quick Update

I've written at least six draft posts this afternoon and none would represent a worthwhile investment of your time reading them. So this post is just to say that I am still here - just a little overwhelmed at the moment by some incredibly emotional ceremonies. 

Andrew Jackson is an independent funeral celebrant, available to help families in Bristol, Bath and beyond. (but not 'beyond' like Buzz Lightyear - I'm thinking Somerset, Wiltshire and Bristol!). Picture is spring time in Bath.

Funeral Arranging - Part 2

I've written this blog posting countless times now; it follows on from the "Funeral Arranging - Part 1", written  on on Tuesday; a response to an article by Emma Freud that appeared in The Guardian newspaper. It is an article well worth a read. 

Part 2 reflects on Emma's experience of creating the Order of Service. As a celebrant, my approach is to share some time with the family, listen to what they would like in terms of music, prayers, poems, etc and create a ceremony that is heartfelt and personal to them. Emma writes...

Emma writes: "This [the order of service] invariably becomes the emotional focus of the week. It needs to be a collective effort and is probably the moment when family tensions emerge in that lovely dysfunctional way that only a close death can inspire.

Well, yes and no. Yes, because even the most cohesive families can find stress lines appearing as they come to terms with the changed situation.

More To Death

The "More to Death" magazine is always a fascinating read and the new edition is no exception - click on the title to open the link. I know I may be slightly at odds with most people, but I find death incredibly fascinating. And although it is a subject we don't talk about, when I do mention it, almost everyone has questions or experiences they want to share. I'd be very interested to receive your thoughts - did any of the articles make you rethink (or start to think) about your own plans? There are some case studies of families taking care of a funeral very much 'in house'. Not for everyone, but interesting none the less. 
Andrew Jackson is an independent funeral celebrant, available in Bristol, Bath & Somerset.

Celebrating the Arrival of 2014

It has been a surreal few months for me. My father died at the start of December. We knew he was ill; we knew he wouldn't go on for ever, but we expected (maybe 'hoped' is more accurate) that he would still be with us to see in the New Year. Not to be... So we've experienced the stress of being summoned to his bedside, the privilege of keeping him company as the end drew close, the stillness and peace as he died and then the intrusiveness (I'm not sure that's actually a word) as a host of strangers (funeral and health professionals) appeared in our lives. There are so many things to sort out and really, all we wanted was to stop and reflect on our loss. As I said, it is a surreal time. It will take a while for life to feel 'normal' again - and I know it won't ever be the same. 

Funeral costs in UK: The Price Is right?

It was recently reported that the overall cost of dying is up 7.1% from 2012 prices. Although I think this is incorrect, as generally the dying bit is actually free. I think they meant that funeral costs are up 7.1%. 

The cost of a basic funeral has risen 5.3% since 2012, to £3,456. The average cost of a burial is now £3,914, which is about £1,000 more than the average cremation. Once discretionary costs are added - a headstone, flowers, choice of coffin, etc the basic cost of a funeral rises to an average of £7,662. Of course, there are regional variations: London area costs are higher whereas the least expensive place to die / arrange a funeral is Wales (average cost here is £6,096).