A Time To Remember

It is so important to 'stop the world' every now again and dedicate some time to remembering those people no longer with us. Yesterday, I was privileged to have just such an opportunity when I was invited to speak at the Annual Service of Remembrance, in Bath, hosted by Co-operative Funeral Care. It brought together different faiths as well as myself representing those families who opted for a celebrant led service and together we lit candles and remembered. I've attached my reading below; I hope it resonates with you...

Reading: Today is all about remembering loved ones - family and friends - who are no longer with us.

In one sense, having a special occasion like today almost feels unnecessary – I’m sure that barely a moment passes when the loss isn’t keenly felt.

But there is a huge strength to be gained by joining together as one community to acknowledge and share our loss, and to remember. Occasions such as this are very special, a time to stop the world for a moment and to reflect; an opportunity to speak their name means so much.

Isabelle Allende wrote this, “People die only when we forget them. If you can remember me, I will be with you always”. I think that is a lovely sentiment to hold to.

Coming to terms with grief is one of the greatest challenges we face in life and even if you are lucky enough to be surrounded by a loving and caring family, no one can replace the person who has died.

It’s not even about the big occasions in life – the celebrations and the anniversaries that we must suddenly navigate alone. These we can steel ourselves for and get through them.

It is the little things that catch us off guard that hurt the most: an extra space at the dinner table; looking up to share a thought to find the silence unbroken; sticking to the normal routines when ‘normal’ has been redefined for ever.

As a celebrant, over the past year I have had the privilege to help so many families and find it quite inspirational that in the midst of all the grief, I find so much compassion, warmth and love.

If nothing else, death shows us how important life is and how important love is.

And that’s really the message I would like to share today. That there is a duality to remembrance – we think of those who have continued their life journey. We keep their character and personality, their loves and ideals in our hearts and memories.

But we also remember those still here, because in the midst of grief, more than ever, we need friends to comfort and support; to help us return to life.

It has been said that we limp into heaven on the arm of a friend – so have a friend, be a friend, help one another. Nothing else on earth is so important.

I would like to close my reading today with a short poem called “Still” by Char March. This poem reflects the shock often felt at the time of death, but reminds us that those we love remain in our hearts for all time.

Still by Char March

Listen. There is this silence now. This stillness.

Gradually we will get used to it. But, for now,

It is strange.

You have left such a gap.

Our world is in shock, holding its breath.

But listen closer – all your laughter, all your love

Is still ringing out. Still holding us. All our memories of you are still with us.

All the love we shared is still in every one of us.

And although we ache from the loss of you,

You will always be here – as still and steady,

And fierce, as any star. Look. You are shining

Bright through all our skies.

Thank you

For being here with us.

Thank you.