The point of this post is that often there is a collection at the end of a funeral service for a good cause, often one that has some relevance to the family or specifically to the person who has died. But sometimes, knowing which organisation to nominate can be a challenge. So I would just like to take this opportunity to highlight the work of a project in Bath - The WoodWorks Project. I can offer no better explanation for their work than the words found on the intro page of their website...
A question: Would you like your funeral in a church or at a crematorium? If you have a strong faith the answer will be obvious. But the number of weekly worshippers in the UK now stands at 12% and falling. So that leaves an awful lot of people - 88% - who are maybe less sure.
If I told you that the funeral service didn't have to be in either - that it could be conducted at home in the garden, at the golf club, in a farmers field in a marquee, would that change your mind? There is no legal constraint in the UK, other than you must have the permission of the person who owns the space.
Just a quick post to apologise for the silence over recent weeks. Often the summer is a quieter time for funerals, but this year has seen barely a break in ceremonies taking place. Which has meant my mind has been on helping bereaved families navigate the emotional challenges of the funeral; helping them to create a meaningful farewell. My mind hasn't been on the blog - I'm really sorry! But I'm gathering my thoughts and aiming to resume regular posts...so do watch this space! Recent ceremonies have included a beautiful ceremony at Midford Natural Burial Ground, near Bath. And on wednesday, we had such a moving ceremony which finished with a release of butterflies (outside obviously - we headed for the memorial garden after the ceremony to release them). Such a simple gesture but so symbolic.
Yes.
Okay, I appreciate that a one word blog may not be too inspiring, but I thought I might as well answer the question at the outset. There is a very interesting article in the Guardian newspaper today about funerals and whether children should attend.
As a celebrant, my starting point is try and involve family members, whatever their age. There are so many ways children can be involved, from decorating the coffin, writing a poem, drawing a picture to go on the coffin, lighting a candle if they are old enough or perhaps simply laying a flower. Asking grand children what they thought of a grandparent can produce some incredible quotes for the eulogy; sometimes a bit 'left of field' but children do have a way of cutting through to the core of the matter. So I'm very happy to see children at my ceremonies.
As always (it seems) I have to start with an apology - it is far an age since the last post. Its been a busy few weeks and I'm currently helping four families create a funeral for their loved one, but even so, I will try to post a little more regularly!
Anyway, the coincidence is that the last blog title was "Bring me Sunshine". I'm now working on a ceremony with "Bring me sunshine" by Morecombe and Wise as the exit music. First time I've used this, but was really pleased when the family asked for it. I do like it when the ceremony finishes with a smile on the faces of those attending. Of course, it doesn't stop the hurt but it does set the grieve in a slightly different context.
Another ceremony I'm working on (I'm currently helping four families, so a bit busy) has "Hurt" by Johnny Cash. It is an amazing track, filled with emotion and one of the last things he recorded. Not necessarily happy, but it is so moving.
So, back to the title - not a big coincidence but I thought I would share it with you all the same.
Today I have been mostly thinking about why death is so difficult for people to talk about and how I might make that easier...
