Life is complicated and not everything works out the way we would wish. So when, as a celebrant, I am asked to produce a life story for a person who had a challenging personality or was perhaps difficult to live with, I know it will be an interesting journey as we decide what can be said, should be said and what is best glossed over - honesty and integrity should be at the core of every ceremony, provided that it stays on the right side of positive.
All of which is a long winded way of saying that I read the obituary in The Sunday Times this weekend for cricketer Bob Appleyard - whose reputation was both as a talented cricketer and a somewhat "awkward bugger".
I loved the opening line..."Not everyone who came into contact with Bob Appleyard...emerged from the experience as an admirer, but none remained untouched by either his cricketing talent or his sheer cussed determination to success against overwhelming odds". What a great intro - already we almost have all that we need to know.
The obituary concluded: "...Appleyard neither courted personal popularity nor achieved it." I can think of a few families I have helped who would share that description of their loved one too...
The article records Bob's sporting prowess, evidence's his strength of character and provides a potted history. In 300 words an honest, detailed and interesting life story. Brilliant writing.
Andrew Jackson is an independent funeral celebrant available to help families in the Bristol and Bath area. If you have any questions about funerals do please ask...
I was never really sure if you picked up on the undercurrents when you did my father's funeral. Did you? I was trying very hard to remember that not everyone there had the same view of him as I did. The main telling point was when you asked me if he and Mum were happy and I replied "Well, they were married a long time." Hugh, who knew everything I experienced, thought I was very diplomatic with that comment. I didn't want the ceremony spoiled for others by bitter feelings.
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