More to Death: The Natural Death Centre's Magazine

The latest edition of "More to Death" is available - click on the link to have a read. Thought provoking as always - the article about home funerals is especially interesting.

A Busy Day In Prospect

A busy day today, although I think a day more happy than sad. I shall be on funeral celebrant duties today at my local crematorium in Bath. We have a lovely ceremony planned, with Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett music - their music is so powerful and I think the Tony Bennett track ("I left my heart in San Francisco") will be perfect. After that I shall be off to visit a local family, who are planning a ceremony for their mum. An emotional day in prospect but a good one...

Today, I shall mostly be looking for a slice of coffee and walnut cake in one of the local cafes - emotional days require lots of comfort food!

Time To End "Clip Board" Funerals?

I came across these amazing words in "Untold Stories" by Alan Bennett. Writing about his mother's ceremony at Weston-Super-Mare crematorium, he reflects on a ceremony seemingly detached from any real emotion or meaning...

“Before that (the committal), though, there will be the faint dribble of a hymn, which is for the most part unsung by the men and only falteringly by the women. The deceased is unknown to the vicar, who in turn is a stranger to the mourners, the only participant on intimate terms with all concerned, the corpse included, being the undertaker. Unsolemn, hygienic and somehow retail, the service is so scant as to be scarcely a ceremony at all, and is not so much simple as inadequate. These clipboard send-offs have no swell to them, no tide, there is no launching for the soul, flung like Excalibur over the dark waters. How few lives now end full-throated to hymns soaring or bells pealing from the tower. How few escape a pinched suburban send-off, the last of a life, some half-known relatives strolling thankfully back to the car.” 

I love the expression "launching the soul, flung like excalibur over the dark waters" - wonderful writing (but then with Alan Bennett every word works so hard). The point of sharing this is that it really is possible to create a ceremony that is heartfelt and personal. With some thought, this can be achieved even within the time-limited setting of a crematorium: by booking extra time, dressing the space and encouraging family members to actively participate. But better still, don't have the main ceremony at the crematorium - something I shall explore further in my next blog...

Today I am mostly rehearsing a ceremony and listening to R Kelly 'World's Greatest' - would love to include the song at a ceremony!