Lovely Poem (for gardeners!).

When my father died, a good friend and fellow celebrant (hello Sarah!) sent me a lovely book called "All in the end is harvest - An anthology for those who grieve" (*). It is the perfect book to dip in and out of, as happy as it is sad and reflective. This poem stood out for me when I last picked up the book. "Not speaking as much as sharing" is the line that really resonates with you. The poem is wholly inappropriate for the time of year, but I really didn't want to wait six months before sharing it with you!

(*) The book is edited by Agnes Whitaker and well worth having a copy of your book shelf.

Sharing by Brenda Lismer

Autumn was our time of year

Working together in the old walled garden

Not speaking so much as sharing

The silence and September warmth

The gentleness of slow decay

At summer’s passing.

I was the debris man clearing the way

You turned the dark earth with your spade

Slow and steady knowing your pace

Turned tramp in your awful gardening clothes

Which somehow become dear.

I miss your patient figure

As I harvest alone

Miss the shared silence

And the coming together at day’s end.

Today I am mostly thinking about tomorrow's ceremony. A lovely man, who has died aged 37 from cancer. Sometimes life doesn't make much sense...

A Quick Update

I've written at least six draft posts this afternoon and none would represent a worthwhile investment of your time reading them. So this post is just to say that I am still here - just a little overwhelmed at the moment by some incredibly emotional ceremonies. 

Andrew Jackson is an independent funeral celebrant, available to help families in Bristol, Bath and beyond. (but not 'beyond' like Buzz Lightyear - I'm thinking Somerset, Wiltshire and Bristol!). Picture is spring time in Bath.

Music for Funerals

Last year, I wrote a blog about the song / music: 'Amazing Grace'. We had used the piece, played by The Royal Scots Dragoon Guards (via CD) (i.e. not live - it would have been chaos). It was 'the best of tunes and the worst of tunes..'. It is beautiful, haunting, moving - but that's precisely the issue; its sure to have even the stiffest of lips trembling and the driest of eyes watering.

Yesterday, a similar discovery using Neil Diamond as exit music. We listened to "Hello, hello again" and - being honest - by the end I think everyone was glad to be back outside. Lovely track for a very special person - problem was it reduced everyone to tears... it was a sad enough day already. Strangely, "Here comes the sun" by the Beatles can have that effect on me too. At the end of the ceremony, with a silent and very thoughtful room, the guitar intro really makes an incredible impression. 

The exit music plays an important role in lifting spirits and marking the end of the ceremony. 'Lark ascending' is quite beautiful; Tony Bennett / Frank Sinatra etc work well - and, one of my favourites: 'Three little birds' by Bob Marley. So many amazing tracks - what would you recommend?

Andrew Jackson is an independent funeral celebrant, available to conduct funerals in Bristol, bath & beyond.

Death: Anything We Shouldn't Talk About?

Bristol Museum and Art Gallery are investigating the possibility of an exhibition looking at death around the world - if it goes ahead, it will take place in 2015. All very exciting and I'm so pleased. Often, once people realise that I am a funeral celebrant, they are quick to share their experiences, good and bad: their experience of grief, about saying goodbye, about vicars that forgot who the funeral was for...sometimes it is the joy of discovering the perfect natural burial site and the peace and healing power that comes with that discovery.

Talking about life & death

Challenging day today, with two funeral ceremonies in Bath to start the week - so don't expect great words of wisdom. Its quite rare for me to do two ceremonies in one day and it always adds an extra level of stress. To be honest, my brain is now frazzled and I'm waiting only for the clock to tick round to a more socially acceptable time to pour a restorative shiraz! Today I have been reminded of some lovely music - "I vow to thee my country" was the entry music and perfect for a gentleman who had served his country all through his life. Reminded too how lovely Mozart's Clarinet concerto is for reflection music - it is a piece of music that both fills the space yet leaves room for thought and reflection. I closed the ceremony with Rudyard Kipling's, 'If'... one of my favourite poems to read aloud (as is "Funeral Blues" - the poem from the 'Four weddings & a funeral' film but no one has ever asked for that!). So an interesting day and two very different goodbyes.

On the subject of reminders, do click on the link to "Confessions of a funeral director" link. Caleb Wilde is such an honest writer and whilst there are differences in the US and UK approach to funerals, much of what he writes will ring true for us Brits. Look for "Ten reasons I'm a funeral director", which remains one of the best explanations for working in the funeral industry. Or the "Should we medicate grief?" post, for example. It really is worth exploring the site if you are interested in gaining a fresh & honest insight into funerals.

Today I have been mostly wondering whether signing up to a gym was such a good idea!

What is your favourite funeral poem?

I haven't posted any of my favourite funeral poems for a while...well, this one is a very popular / often used poem, that seems to be resonating with families at the moment. For many, the sense of spirit living on is incredibly comforting and reassuring.

500 Days and Counting

This post is about life, which makes a refreshing change. Now, you may need to sit down for this next bit of information - or at least prepare a sugar-heavy cup of tea for shock - but my 50th birthday is on the horizon (and for those of you who looked at the picture and thought "He's looking good for sixty", well, that's just mean...). Now, when I say 'on the horizon', its actually 500 days away (*give or take a few days - I worked it out once but life is too short to double check the figures) (which is exactly the attitude that held me back from a career as an accountant or physicist). Landmark birthdays are great for reassessing life. My feeling is that rather than wait for 50 and then make changes, I want to hit my 50th birthday fighting fit for the second half of my life...