Or sometimes what makes most impression is simply the kindness of strangers ...bereavement can bring out the best in our fellow man.
So, for me, the view that 'us Brits' are rubbish at talking about deep emotional stuff just doesn't ring true. People are interested and given half a chance are keen to share - all good news for this exhibition. BUT is there anything we shouldn't talk about? Are there some aspects of death that talking about it would actually be too honest - and therefore too upsetting? Is it best that we 'sugar coat' some aspects so that bereavement is easier to cope with?
Embalming (or "hygenic treatments" as it is often referred to) is a subject often skirted around. And what about the reality of disposal? There was a fascinating program on BBC Radio 4 yesterday ("Costing the Earth", - "A greener way to go", 25/2/14), talking about cremation v burial v other alternatives. These are aspects we're less good at talking about, but as world population increases, how we care for (and manage) bodies will be of increasing importance. Many church burial grounds are close to capacity so there is a finite amount of space to accommodate our deceased loved ones. Big debates to be had. I'd be very interested to hear which aspects of death and dying we should and shouldn't talk about.
Today I have been mostly thinking about today's ceremony for a Mum: very emotional ceremony. Very thought provoking. Time to go for a walk and to clear my head...
I think, apart from the embalming topic, the unthinkable and maybe unsayable is what happens to the body when going through the dying process. Does that make me macabre - maybe, but I have wondered and been wary of googling it.
ReplyDeleteIt is a really interesting question as what we feel able to think about and what is better pushed out of mind - different cultures, faiths, even generations will have their own views (which is why Bristol Museums exhibition could be fascinating). For me, having specified a natural burial (at Freshford, for those who know Bath), I'm okay about the decomposition process but I find it incredibly difficult explaining - to children especially - the process of cremation. Spiritually, there is something very powerful and natural being 'returned to the flame' but explaining it leaves me floundering...perhaps that should be my next challenge - to be able to explain to a child what happens without confusing or upsetting them.
DeleteI've just been in an RE lesson where Hinduism was the topic. The childlren (aged 13+ so not really young) seemed quite taken with the topic of reincarnation. Maybe that's the way to explain it so they can think about the prospect of returning as something else. Interestingly the boys wanted to come back as something large and scary, like a lion and the girls wanted to come back as something small and cute, like a rabbit! Gender stereotypical behaviour is alive and well!!
DeleteHope all is well with you. I am in the process of making an official complaint about Mum's stay in hospital (NOT the Nursing Home) which I told you about, I think. Going to be a challenging time I think.
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