Thank You

I have been meaning to write this blog for ages, so apologies that it has taken so long...

Being constantly surrounded by the sadness of death can make for a challenging life at times and, sometimes, it does feel rather overwhelming. But I really appreciate and take great encouragement from the wonderful feedback and thank you's that families send me. I'm sure I have said this before, but with so much going on at a time of bereavement, I am always rather surprised that anyone finds time  to say thank you - but so many do and it is always so appreciated. 

I rarely quote feedback on the website - it feels a bit too "me, me, me" but I will share this because the words really touched me: "Words can't express how special you made the service for my husband. It was emotional, heart warming, spoken with compassion and care". How wonderful is that?

Andrew Jackson is an independent funeral celebrant available in Bath, Bristol and surrounding area.

Season's Greetings

This is a post for all those feeling especially lost right now; perhaps feeling a little lonely. For some, this will be the first Christmas following bereavement and as the big day approaches, the sense of loneliness can become intense. Even if we are fortunate enough to be surrounded by family and friends, no one can quite replace that special person. Even in a crowded room, life can feel very empty. 

Happy New Year 2016

Wishing you all a happy, healthy and successful 2016 - I hope that life is kind to you and that the year brings all you wish for.

Andrew Jackson is a funeral celebrant working in the Bristol, Bath and surrounding area. NY Resolution...to average two blog posts per week, so target is 104 blogs over the course of the year...

What is an Independent Funeral Celebrant?

I am often asked "What is an independent celebrant?", quickly followed by questions regarding my own faith. The following - quoted from wikipedia - is a really sound explanation. The only thing I would add is this definition is very 'neutral': celebrants come in all shapes and sizes, strong faith to no faith, with a broad range of life experiences that shape the way they connect with families and their preferences when creating a beautiful ceremony. The good ones start the conversation with a 'blank page' - they listen to the family, check understanding and aim to create something that reflects the deceased in a heartfelt, personal way.

Work Life & Death Balances

Apologies for the silence in recent months. You may have guessed that the lack of posts is often indicative of increased 'busy-ness'...this year has been incredibly intense and it has been a challenge finding time for me to recharge in-between helping families through their grief and navigating the emotional challenges of the funeral. I'm sure most celebrants would agree that we don't feel the grief in the same intensity as the families - if we did, it would become incredibly difficult to help. But neither is it 'all in a days work' - absorbing some of the sadness is just part of the role. So the blog has been pushed to one side whilst I've tried to create a better balance. But I will try to post more often over the coming months. If you have any questions about my role as a celebrant do please ask.
Andrew Jackson is an Independent celebrant available to conduct ceremonies in the Bristol, Bath and surrounding area.

Three Levels of Sadness

I was asked today how I cope with all the sadness of being a celebrant. Its been an incredibly tough fortnight, with some challenging farewells and life stores to navigate, but overall, each has contained much love and inspiration. So the flippant answer is that most of the time I can cope, on the bad days there is coffee and walnut cake and on the very bad days there is shiraz... In all seriousness - and I hope this doesn't sound too 'worthy' - being a celebrant does show me every day that however tough my life is, someone else has it ten times worse. Today the sun is shining, the apple blossom is out, I had a free coffee at the garden centre... I had a long conversation with a funeral director whose compassion and kindness is so inspiring. Today's ceremony was incredibly moving - so many tears for a much loved person - but even in the midst of such sadness life has much to offer. I was going to start this blog with "Count your blessings", but its not for me to tell you how to live your life. But counting my blessing is what I've been doing today.

 Andrew Jackson is an independent celebrant, helping families in Bristol, Bath and the surrounding area.

Wonderful Feedback

I'm always amazed that in the midst of such grief and sadness, families find time and energy to write the most lovely 'thank you' messages. Generally, I don't share these on the blog, but it was pointed out to me recently that for some families using a celebrant, rather than the more traditional option of a church minister, can be something of a leap of faith. So reading some feedback from other families may help reassure people that a celebrant-led ceremony will be perfect for their loved one. Over the coming months, I'll share a small selection of comments, starting with these lovely words...

"Everyone thought the ceremony was amazing and you really captured the spirit of my dad's life. Some people there even thought you were an old friend of my dad's as you made it so perfectly personal...thank you." 

It is lovely to receive such feedback.

Andrew Jackson is an Independent funeral celebrant, available for ceremonies in Bristol, Bath and the surrounding area.

Reflecting on Life's Achievements

As a funeral celebrant working in Bristol & Bath, I meet the most incredible people. On occasions, 'incredible' because the family is coping with the very worst of times with great strength and courage - I think the most heart-breaking yet inspiring sight I've witnessed is a father bearing his child's coffin into the ceremony - it's impossible not to be deeply moved.

Music for Funerals

Last year, I wrote a blog about the song / music: 'Amazing Grace'. We had used the piece, played by The Royal Scots Dragoon Guards (via CD) (i.e. not live - it would have been chaos). It was 'the best of tunes and the worst of tunes..'. It is beautiful, haunting, moving - but that's precisely the issue; its sure to have even the stiffest of lips trembling and the driest of eyes watering.

Yesterday, a similar discovery using Neil Diamond as exit music. We listened to "Hello, hello again" and - being honest - by the end I think everyone was glad to be back outside. Lovely track for a very special person - problem was it reduced everyone to tears... it was a sad enough day already. Strangely, "Here comes the sun" by the Beatles can have that effect on me too. At the end of the ceremony, with a silent and very thoughtful room, the guitar intro really makes an incredible impression. 

The exit music plays an important role in lifting spirits and marking the end of the ceremony. 'Lark ascending' is quite beautiful; Tony Bennett / Frank Sinatra etc work well - and, one of my favourites: 'Three little birds' by Bob Marley. So many amazing tracks - what would you recommend?

Andrew Jackson is an independent funeral celebrant, available to conduct funerals in Bristol, bath & beyond.

Talking about life & death

Challenging day today, with two funeral ceremonies in Bath to start the week - so don't expect great words of wisdom. Its quite rare for me to do two ceremonies in one day and it always adds an extra level of stress. To be honest, my brain is now frazzled and I'm waiting only for the clock to tick round to a more socially acceptable time to pour a restorative shiraz! Today I have been reminded of some lovely music - "I vow to thee my country" was the entry music and perfect for a gentleman who had served his country all through his life. Reminded too how lovely Mozart's Clarinet concerto is for reflection music - it is a piece of music that both fills the space yet leaves room for thought and reflection. I closed the ceremony with Rudyard Kipling's, 'If'... one of my favourite poems to read aloud (as is "Funeral Blues" - the poem from the 'Four weddings & a funeral' film but no one has ever asked for that!). So an interesting day and two very different goodbyes.

On the subject of reminders, do click on the link to "Confessions of a funeral director" link. Caleb Wilde is such an honest writer and whilst there are differences in the US and UK approach to funerals, much of what he writes will ring true for us Brits. Look for "Ten reasons I'm a funeral director", which remains one of the best explanations for working in the funeral industry. Or the "Should we medicate grief?" post, for example. It really is worth exploring the site if you are interested in gaining a fresh & honest insight into funerals.

Today I have been mostly wondering whether signing up to a gym was such a good idea!