Death: Anything We Shouldn't Talk About?

Bristol Museum and Art Gallery are investigating the possibility of an exhibition looking at death around the world - if it goes ahead, it will take place in 2015. All very exciting and I'm so pleased. Often, once people realise that I am a funeral celebrant, they are quick to share their experiences, good and bad: their experience of grief, about saying goodbye, about vicars that forgot who the funeral was for...sometimes it is the joy of discovering the perfect natural burial site and the peace and healing power that comes with that discovery.

Talking about life & death

Challenging day today, with two funeral ceremonies in Bath to start the week - so don't expect great words of wisdom. Its quite rare for me to do two ceremonies in one day and it always adds an extra level of stress. To be honest, my brain is now frazzled and I'm waiting only for the clock to tick round to a more socially acceptable time to pour a restorative shiraz! Today I have been reminded of some lovely music - "I vow to thee my country" was the entry music and perfect for a gentleman who had served his country all through his life. Reminded too how lovely Mozart's Clarinet concerto is for reflection music - it is a piece of music that both fills the space yet leaves room for thought and reflection. I closed the ceremony with Rudyard Kipling's, 'If'... one of my favourite poems to read aloud (as is "Funeral Blues" - the poem from the 'Four weddings & a funeral' film but no one has ever asked for that!). So an interesting day and two very different goodbyes.

On the subject of reminders, do click on the link to "Confessions of a funeral director" link. Caleb Wilde is such an honest writer and whilst there are differences in the US and UK approach to funerals, much of what he writes will ring true for us Brits. Look for "Ten reasons I'm a funeral director", which remains one of the best explanations for working in the funeral industry. Or the "Should we medicate grief?" post, for example. It really is worth exploring the site if you are interested in gaining a fresh & honest insight into funerals.

Today I have been mostly wondering whether signing up to a gym was such a good idea!

What is your favourite funeral poem?

I haven't posted any of my favourite funeral poems for a while...well, this one is a very popular / often used poem, that seems to be resonating with families at the moment. For many, the sense of spirit living on is incredibly comforting and reassuring.

500 Days and Counting

This post is about life, which makes a refreshing change. Now, you may need to sit down for this next bit of information - or at least prepare a sugar-heavy cup of tea for shock - but my 50th birthday is on the horizon (and for those of you who looked at the picture and thought "He's looking good for sixty", well, that's just mean...). Now, when I say 'on the horizon', its actually 500 days away (*give or take a few days - I worked it out once but life is too short to double check the figures) (which is exactly the attitude that held me back from a career as an accountant or physicist). Landmark birthdays are great for reassessing life. My feeling is that rather than wait for 50 and then make changes, I want to hit my 50th birthday fighting fit for the second half of my life...

Funeral Arranging - Part 2

I've written this blog posting countless times now; it follows on from the "Funeral Arranging - Part 1", written  on on Tuesday; a response to an article by Emma Freud that appeared in The Guardian newspaper. It is an article well worth a read. 

Part 2 reflects on Emma's experience of creating the Order of Service. As a celebrant, my approach is to share some time with the family, listen to what they would like in terms of music, prayers, poems, etc and create a ceremony that is heartfelt and personal to them. Emma writes...

Emma writes: "This [the order of service] invariably becomes the emotional focus of the week. It needs to be a collective effort and is probably the moment when family tensions emerge in that lovely dysfunctional way that only a close death can inspire.

Well, yes and no. Yes, because even the most cohesive families can find stress lines appearing as they come to terms with the changed situation.

More To Death

The "More to Death" magazine is always a fascinating read and the new edition is no exception - click on the title to open the link. I know I may be slightly at odds with most people, but I find death incredibly fascinating. And although it is a subject we don't talk about, when I do mention it, almost everyone has questions or experiences they want to share. I'd be very interested to receive your thoughts - did any of the articles make you rethink (or start to think) about your own plans? There are some case studies of families taking care of a funeral very much 'in house'. Not for everyone, but interesting none the less. 
Andrew Jackson is an independent funeral celebrant, available in Bristol, Bath & Somerset.

Funeral Arranging - Part 1

If you had to arrange a funeral today, would you put everything into the hands of experts or would you prefer a more personal approach? After all, there is no legal requirement to employ a funeral director; there are laws and obligations to follow, naturally, but using a funeral director isn't one of them. The reason for my posing the question follows an interesting article in the Guardian newspaper, written by Emma Freud. Its a detailed piece, which poses some interesting questions, so I shall pick out some key parts to expand on what Emma has said (but do read the full article, as it is really interesting)...