Quote of the Day: Jenny Eclair

A Year After he died I still miss Dad.

"It's been just over a year since my father died. I say died, because that's what happened. We didn't lose him, as many people term it. If he'd just slipped out of the back door of the nursing home and made a break for the pub by the golf course, then that would have been OK. If we'd just lost him, we could have found him.

But we didn't lose him. He died. he was 90 and it was sad because he was funniest man I ever met.I still find it unbelievable that I won't see him again."

Jenny Eclair, writing in Waitrose Weekend.

Quote of the Day: Jay Rayner

"You only become a proper adult when both your parents have gone. You are out in the world. It is not like I would have wished  them off any sooner, but at some point you do have to move forward." Jay Rayner.

Funeral Ceremony Advice: The Eulogy / Tribute

For a celebrant led funeral service especially, the eulogy is such a key part of the ceremony. Whether it takes the form of one chapter, or a collection of memories from different family and friends, this is the moment when we celebrate the person's life. For me, the best eulogies are relatively brief - 500-750 words is perfect, especially if other readings and music are to be included. It is impossible to capture every last detail in the short time available, so better to pick out key qualities that will resonate with most of those present. 

So the best eulogies don't try to capture every address or career step, nor try to name check numerous friends. It should capture the essence of the person - who they were not what they were. The legacy they leave behind in those closest to them, the gentle way they inspired others; the simple memories that may be of almost no consequence to most people but for the family mean everything...

Happy New Year 2016

Wishing you all a happy, healthy and successful 2016 - I hope that life is kind to you and that the year brings all you wish for.

Andrew Jackson is a funeral celebrant working in the Bristol, Bath and surrounding area. NY Resolution...to average two blog posts per week, so target is 104 blogs over the course of the year...

Coping with Grief in Autumn

To be honest, I always find the autumn, especially when clocks change, to be quite a difficult time. No idea why, as I love the colours and the changes to the foliage. It is a wonderful time to reconnect with the landscape. But it does always leave me feeling flat; difficult sometimes to see the best in life at this time of year.

What is an Independent Funeral Celebrant?

I am often asked "What is an independent celebrant?", quickly followed by questions regarding my own faith. The following - quoted from wikipedia - is a really sound explanation. The only thing I would add is this definition is very 'neutral': celebrants come in all shapes and sizes, strong faith to no faith, with a broad range of life experiences that shape the way they connect with families and their preferences when creating a beautiful ceremony. The good ones start the conversation with a 'blank page' - they listen to the family, check understanding and aim to create something that reflects the deceased in a heartfelt, personal way.

The Nature of Grief

I discovered this amazing quote today. It talks about the challenge of starting life again after bereavement and especially after the loss of someone very close. 

“The voice of grief is rather convincing, isn’t it? It tells you you’re “too old,” “not good enough,” or “not worthy enough” for another chance at life, that starting over is impossible. This voice in your head is the first thing you hear in the morning and the last thing you hear at night. It drives with you to work. It stays with you at lunch. Its message is so consistent that because of its repetitive power, you may be inclined to believe it. But, as persuasive as the voice of grief is, everything it says is a lie. It’s all a pack of lies.

Do you want the truth? If you do, then start listening to life calling to you inside your grief. How? Every time you are yearning to be held and loved, to laugh again, listen to your yearning. Do not listen to your fear . . . Listen to life calling you, “I am here, come on over. Take a chance on me. I am your life, and you’re all that I’ve got.” 

(Christina Rasmussen, Second Firsts Live Laugh and Love Again).