A Fine Attitude to Life & Death

The funeral celebrant side of my life has been especially busy this week. It started with the remembrance service (see previous post) and I've also had three ceremonies to look after. Each very different, but each very personal and with fascinating life stories to tell. One of the ceremonies reminded me of a quote that really inspired me when I first started as a celebrant. It's from Hunter S Thompson, who wrote this about death: 

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a ride!”

I love the attitude, the positive thinking, the energy and sense of living in the moment inherent in the quote. And the thought that at the end, life should be celebrated and not swamped by unnecessary formalities.

Today I have been mostly debating going back to bed if I'm honest - I'm shattered! 

Where Will Your Funeral be?

Where will your funeral be? Just for now, we’ll set aside the fact that most of us don’t discuss this with our nearest and dearest (even though it would be rather helpful if we did), and focus instead on the choices.

First question is ‘where’? If you have a strong faith, then a religious building will be the obvious choice. Religious buildings are evocative spaces; often ancient, places that have seen all the joy and sadness of life acted out over generations. Simply entering a church is a ritual act, as you leave the hustle and bustle of life behind and move into a sacred space.

Time To End "Clip Board" Funerals?

I came across these amazing words in "Untold Stories" by Alan Bennett. Writing about his mother's ceremony at Weston-Super-Mare crematorium, he reflects on a ceremony seemingly detached from any real emotion or meaning...

“Before that (the committal), though, there will be the faint dribble of a hymn, which is for the most part unsung by the men and only falteringly by the women. The deceased is unknown to the vicar, who in turn is a stranger to the mourners, the only participant on intimate terms with all concerned, the corpse included, being the undertaker. Unsolemn, hygienic and somehow retail, the service is so scant as to be scarcely a ceremony at all, and is not so much simple as inadequate. These clipboard send-offs have no swell to them, no tide, there is no launching for the soul, flung like Excalibur over the dark waters. How few lives now end full-throated to hymns soaring or bells pealing from the tower. How few escape a pinched suburban send-off, the last of a life, some half-known relatives strolling thankfully back to the car.” 

I love the expression "launching the soul, flung like excalibur over the dark waters" - wonderful writing (but then with Alan Bennett every word works so hard). The point of sharing this is that it really is possible to create a ceremony that is heartfelt and personal. With some thought, this can be achieved even within the time-limited setting of a crematorium: by booking extra time, dressing the space and encouraging family members to actively participate. But better still, don't have the main ceremony at the crematorium - something I shall explore further in my next blog...

Today I am mostly rehearsing a ceremony and listening to R Kelly 'World's Greatest' - would love to include the song at a ceremony!