Of course it doesn't make everything right, but saying goodbye in the right way does help. Today, it was such a sad ceremony, that I'm not sure I can honestly claim to have helped. We said goodbye to someone who was just 48 years old and there are times when it feels fundamentally wrong to say goodbye so soon. So many tears in the ceremony room today. My thoughts are very much with the family tonight.
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This is my second attempt at commenting on your post - I felt the first was a little dismissive of what you had said. Here goes again ... yes, there are no words, as such, which can help. I think this probably applies in every ceremony, but especially in one for someone so young. The usual comment of "they had a good life" does not really apply obviously, but I know that by entering into the experience with the family, rather than just 'conducting' the ceremony, you will have helped. I bet the family will realise that too, when they have the time and emotional strength to reflect on the day. I certainly did, even though the circumstances and arguably level of sadness weren't as difficult to cope with. Are you ok now?
ReplyDeleteHi Sally. Thanks for your thoughts and no, the original post didn't sound dismissive!
ReplyDeleteThat was an especially sad day because the funeral wasn't the only major upset the family were having to cope with. The universe seems to be dumping every possible challenge on their doorstep all in one go. When life is so unrelentingly difficult, it is hard to find any kind of silver lining. There will come a time for them when things improve but I suspect it may not be for a while. So a difficult day, but I recharge and keep going!