Funeral Ceremony Advice: The Eulogy / Tribute

For a celebrant led funeral service especially, the eulogy is such a key part of the ceremony. Whether it takes the form of one chapter, or a collection of memories from different family and friends, this is the moment when we celebrate the person's life. For me, the best eulogies are relatively brief - 500-750 words is perfect, especially if other readings and music are to be included. It is impossible to capture every last detail in the short time available, so better to pick out key qualities that will resonate with most of those present. 

So the best eulogies don't try to capture every address or career step, nor try to name check numerous friends. It should capture the essence of the person - who they were not what they were. The legacy they leave behind in those closest to them, the gentle way they inspired others; the simple memories that may be of almost no consequence to most people but for the family mean everything...

I read the following article in The Guardian newspaper on Boxing day, 26.12.15. It was written by Julia Rooney. This tribute takes a family photo as a starting point and takes us on a journey where in the space of 350 words or so, we learn some history of the person, the values, the positive impact on this closest - quite simply, this is a fabulous eulogy. I'm left with a strong sense of 'I wish I had met this person, she sounds an amazing lady'.

I lost my mum in February this year. She was 73 years old. She was my mum, my best friend and my spiritual guide. She was a teacher in every sense of the word. She was full of curiosity and wisdom and she never stopped learning. In the last five years of her life, she had many problems with her health, but her sense of humour and wisdom helped her through all the difficult times.

But most of all, she was Supergranny. She had five grandchildren (all boys) and she loved spending time with them. She was a loving, kind grandma who did everything to please her grandchildren. She lived in Budapest, where my brother's family lives, but often came to London where I live with my family. She was with me when my two boys were born, and she stayed for a month to look after them when I had to go back to work. She told them many stories, played chess and football with them, and often took them swimming. There were no limits to her playfulness, whether it was wrestling, singing, playing horsey, or standing on her head. She was full of fun and adventure and she wanted her grandchildren to be like that too. I think she succeeded.

This photo was taken in 2014 in a fantastic spa called Széchenyi Fürdö in Budapest. Men in this spa often spend the whole day sitting in the water playing chess. My mum, who was a big chess fan, would sit down next to them and watch them play. When she took my boys to the spa, they sat and watched the games together. She taught us that, regardless of your age or your health, you should never stop having fun.

Julia Rooney (as printed in the Family section of the Guardian newspaper, Saturday 26 December 2015: snapshot: mum who taught my sons to have fun).