The Facebook approach is to be applauded, and whilst grief and grieving rarely fit neatly into prescribed time limits, I'm sure the company are capable of adapting to the individual. What did strike me as odd about the article is that some companies have a policy standard of just three days, which seems incredibly quick.
I know some people like to return to 'normality' as quickly as possible, and sometimes being surrounded by familiar faces can be a better choice than being isolated at such a time. But three days feels a little hasty.
A better starting point might be to offer leave up to the funeral - so usually two/three weeks. After all, there is so much to be done during this time; much of it by necessity in office hours. I think it is only when you have lived through bereavement and experienced the many different ways it impacts on life that you can understand why Facebook are right to support their team in this way.
Andrew Jackson is an independent funeral celebrant in the Bristol, Bath and surrounding area.
From what I can gather most larger companies have an official policy of three days, which I agree is not enough. My experience while working in a school, is that three days is the norm for local Authority staff, which I was. However, that school (maybe because it was a faith school, was flexible and the unofficial line was to take what one needs, when needed. I did go back after two days, with the proviso that I could take time as needed to see Funeral Directors, Registrars etc., and permission to just take some 'time out' if I needed. I was lucky and I think it also worked to their advantage as I was more inclined to return to work earlier as I knew that any distress would, and was, met with understanding and kindness. Not every place of employment is able to be like that, which is a shame.
ReplyDeleteI think the challenge for companies is to create a policy that is fair to all, easy to manage and meets the needs of the individual - quite challenging. When my father died on a Sunday, I had a week of ceremonies ahead of me and it didn't feel right to abandon the families at that time and ask someone to cover me. But I remember feeling pleased to stop when the opportunity allowed. There are three aspects to the issue - one is coping with one's own thoughts; the other supporting other family members, the third navigating through the paperwork & arrangements. I can't see how people can do that with three days off work. Your experience sounds much better; it must help having some caring colleagues close by. Interesting question - I don't think it gets raised very often...
DeleteThere's also the question of when bereavement leave is appropriate, depending on the relationship of the deceased. Next-of-kin only? Family members only? Close friends - in which case how does one define "close?" Again, I was lucky ... the official line was next-of-kin, but my employers not only allowed, but encouraged, me to take time off when my mother-in-law was placed on palliative care only and, again, when she died. I was also covered immediately when I received a phone call at work saying that that was the case and I became distressed. Similarly, they allowed one of my close friends from work to attend my mother's funeral to support me. That raises the whole question of taking time off to support bereaved friends and family, even if we are not directly affected. Faith schools have their detractors - I am normally one of those, but in this case ...
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